Tip: When you want to invite someone out to dinner or you'd like to spend time with your friend in some other way,
do not begin the conversation with "What are you doing tomorrow?"
or
"Are you busy Thursday?"
This intro, in effect, puts your friend on the spot -- essentially saying, "show me yours first" -- and that is neither your intention nor the objective of the interaction.
What your friend is doing tomorrow or Thursday really isn't any of your business, in the first place; nor is it the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter is that you'd like to spend time with her.
So just say that.
"Hey, I'd love to have dinner with you tomorrow night. Are you open?"
If your friend has a conflict, she'll let you know.
If you start with "What are you doing tomorrow?" and I list for you everything I'm doing tomorrow, you now possess my agenda and we're no closer to talking about what you really wanted to talk about. As well, I have disclosed, revealed, but what have you revealed?
You might consider my agenda and decide "Oh, she's busy. She can't have dinner with me" when, in fact, I'm eager to spend time with you and nothing on my schedule is fixed and inflexible. We've just wasted time on agendas and internal deliberations and missed the essential question altogether.
Approach your friend with love, tell them what's on your heart, and let them respond. Three simple steps.
do not begin the conversation with "What are you doing tomorrow?"
or
"Are you busy Thursday?"
This intro, in effect, puts your friend on the spot -- essentially saying, "show me yours first" -- and that is neither your intention nor the objective of the interaction.
What your friend is doing tomorrow or Thursday really isn't any of your business, in the first place; nor is it the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter is that you'd like to spend time with her.
So just say that.
"Hey, I'd love to have dinner with you tomorrow night. Are you open?"
If your friend has a conflict, she'll let you know.
If you start with "What are you doing tomorrow?" and I list for you everything I'm doing tomorrow, you now possess my agenda and we're no closer to talking about what you really wanted to talk about. As well, I have disclosed, revealed, but what have you revealed?
You might consider my agenda and decide "Oh, she's busy. She can't have dinner with me" when, in fact, I'm eager to spend time with you and nothing on my schedule is fixed and inflexible. We've just wasted time on agendas and internal deliberations and missed the essential question altogether.
Approach your friend with love, tell them what's on your heart, and let them respond. Three simple steps.
