On the one hand, there's a permanent address and shopping lists and precious possessions
favorite TV shows and a standing appointment at the beauty salon
a real job, a career path, a safe deposit box and dues-paid memberships
extra sheets and shoes
spare tires, spare toothbrushes
a cute box with alphabetically filed recipes and a set of "good" dishes
On the other hand, there's owning nothing, planning nothing and living on Earth
I live somewhere between the two, leaning one way or another at different times.
Yesterday I was deleting files from my laptop. Russell made what he thought was a helpful suggestion: I didn't have to throw anything away, he said. We have a new external drive in the office. "Just move them off your laptop onto the external drive!"
The thing is, the last week was hard. My heart is sore. And heavy. I'm looking for relief. And I spell relief, the sweetest relief, P U R G E.
Where someone else might go shopping, I start lightening the load, clearing the deck. Whether it's shaving my head, giving away books, burning my boyfriend's manuscripts or click-and-drag trashing, nothing lifts my spirits like making things disappear.
I've been up all night. Obviously still carrying too much. Something's gotta go...