Crazy Gents

And today I met a crazy old man.

Power-walking the streetcar track to burn some calories, I was approached by a spry elderly man. Obviously very happy to see me, he asked if I was still working at the library.

"You mistake me for someone else," I said. "I'm in the library a lot but I've never worked there."

The situation reminded me of how I met my son's father. He was sitting on his front porch when I went striding by, furious about something that had happened at work that day. He said later he couldn't take his eyes off me and prayed that I'd walk back by. Which I did. And the rest is history.

Anyway, this little guy began to heap the silkiest compliments at my feet. He was kinda cute and funny and the flattery was seductive so I accepted his invitation to have a coffee.

Looking back on the whole thing, it's easier to understand Ms. S being swept away by the singer's attention. After you reach a certain age, the sweet intoxication of flirtation is harder to come by. I hung out with G_______ for about an hour and a half: we had coffee and then drove to his house (only a few blocks from the coffeehouse) where he alternated between answering business calls and trying to talk me into bed. Eventually his machismo began to bore me and I made a polite, good-humored exit.

It's interesting to me: if a man my own age had employed the same come-on, I'd have walked away immediately; but I cut G________ some slack. Probably because of his age. "You gotta understand I'm Latin. So I'm hot-blooded and passionate. I need a woman who can handle a lot of loving...." He seemed sincerely baffled by my laughter. "What's so funny?"

He told me I was "exquisite", "statuesque", "fucking hot", and "a knockout". He also explained in detail the new clothes he'd buy for me--black leather pants and "3-inch heels"; he had a clear vision of what he wanted me to look like when we went out. He assumed it would be tonight.

He was cute and funny. But falling for flattery has led to some of the most painful episodes of my life. And although I've needed refresher courses for many life lessons, being made a fool by flattery is not one of them.

G_____________ has a job for me and it's pretty good pay. If I can snag the job without getting snagged by G____________, I may give it a shot.