14 April 2010

Transformation


A purpose for this CA sojourn emerges as I stand in the cold night air, looking up at the big night sky. I am leaning on the gate, taking deep breaths and releasing the tension in my neck and shoulders.

Healing and Restoration pop into my mind.

I have recently joked "I want to be cuter when I return to New Orleans." Some kernel of Truth hides in the silliness. I used to say, "If I was a place, I'd be New Orleans." Even the most loyal of New Orleanians will admit the city is broke down in numerous ways. Subconsciously, I know I am broke down, too and I don't want to return to New Orleans in the same condition.

I am living in a house with two other women. Mother and daughter. Mother is a dear friend I know from graduate school. They are very easy to live with. It is the closest thing to "living with family" I have experienced since....well, since I lived with my family. I feel blessed and I am grateful.

And I miss New Orleans.

There has been a discordant tension between these two feelings until tonight. Tonight the perfection and abundance of my life are apparent to me. Perfect timing--over and over again--and an abundance of grace, privilege, love, opportunity, nurture and something I can only call "juice." There is much to be done right now, where I am. There is much possible right now, where I am. I have everything I need right now, where I am.

Only two people know the story of my recently sprained shoulder -- and only because they were there when it happened. Full disclosure is too embarrassing to relate because it was a drunken accident. [I feel better having written those words, as though I have confessed...at last.] And it wasn't the first drunken injury sustained since I arrived in New Orleans nearly five years ago.

Wow. Talk about "coming out"... I have not spoken these words or shared these thoughts with a single person.

Expression

has produced

an undeniable sensation of

healing and restoration.

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