20 February 2009

Zap! Mama

Two more huge ideas today.

First, a friend sent me this absolutely precious pun:

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry,
but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G
have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the
fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries
to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me.
I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender
is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the
bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found

in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with
nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking
sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major
development. " Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit
and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's
under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of
contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced
to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional
And when I excitedly opened my email address book to compile a recipient list to forward this gem, I discovered only seven people with whom to share it. In the dream I am having of my life, there are at least 20 good friends and probably a listserv or club or some other group as well.

Wow.... I need to make some changes.

And, second...

I was gonna hook up with some people last night to catch the Muses parade. Over the phone in the afternoon, we'd agreed to rendezvous at Napoleon and St. Charles but when I reached the intersection and saw the size of the crowd, and the containment barriers and realized my friends would be coming from the other side of Napoleon, I suspected we'd not connect; especially since I no longer have a cell phone.

Anyway, we didn't find each other but D______ called my home phone later in the evening and left a message. Listening to it, I was a little bit amazed (is it possible to be a little bit amazed? maybe there's a word for that...).

Kindness and generosity and humility and sincerity were as palpable as heat in his voice. And I was immediately aware that my voice never sounds like that. In a split second I understood why: his heart is open and mine is not open any more. Your heart has to be open for your voice to sing in that key. There's a frog in my throat now--I don't let people hear how I'm feeling any more and I don't remember when I closed that opening. My throat and my heart are closed.

Maybe I need/want to make some more changes.....

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